by Back Row Bruiser
Batten down the hatches you Paddies, the ABs have rolled the Lilly-whites at Twickers after the Rose Petals rolled over, Frogs proved again that the world Cup wins were flukes. The AB Boys are hot to trot after puttin’ away the Wannabies and the Boks, the last one winning one of the best games ever seen. It was about as much fun as goin’ Downtown for a night out with me ol’ mate, Bi-Curious Willy. Those Wannabies are more shakey than Mohamed Ali flying JetStar into Wellington!
The ABs have got some new recruits, and I like the look of this Dominic Bird unit. He’s a rectangular beast, looks like a dented suitcase. That chunk of granite named Steve Hansen, he with the paralysed face, never gets more excited than the guy who’s tranquiliser hasn’t worn off, but adding Luke Whitelock will have tickled that family coz they’re only the third whanau in history to have three bros in the all Blacks.
The Cantabs showed the ITM lot that they’re once again more Contenders than Pretenders, and after Team NZ on their flying, floating, trampoline, we needed something to show us how teams win again. Watching that sailing thing was as much fun as stickin’ your nuts in a vice, tryin’ to keep your eyes on fellas running all over the boat like a Caucasian dancing. Mind you, the way that Oracle bunch use the Rule Book, wouldn’t you like to grab them with the squirrel grip!
But that Dave Rennie and his Waikato Chiefs, winnin’ the super 15 again, that’s Superman stuff and repeats in this competition are about as tough as curing cancer. But they got the job done and just when you’d think they’d be up for a break in the sun, pretty soon they’re getting’ ready to go to France for a shot at Arab-funded Toulouse, who’ve recruited like a World ‘B’ team, to play for a world club title. Get in there, you Tainui Taniwha Kaitiaki!
Tana Umaga got into strife too, abusing ref Glen Jackson in a manstruation moment, but he’s over it and in the clear now – and they’ve got the Shield. After so long, like forever, their supporters reckon now that The Impossible is Nothing.
Now, I went into a takeaway the other day and asked for “Chinese”, and the fella said “Racist”. I can’t be, I’m from Nelson and they’ve got no one from other races.
I’m off to find out what’s up with the Missus. I don’t think she wants me around much now. When I woke up this morning I was in the car, fully dressed. Spot ya.
- Back Row Bruiser