by Back Row Bruiser

Howzit ? My cuzzy, Gluteus Mac, told me about these pages and I jumped off the couch and got on the old portable typewriter, you know, the one with a ribbon and only two colours, red and black (they’d love that in Shaky Town, ChCh eh.

I got a shock the other day – nearly feel through my pants and hung myself when I realised where a lot of World Cups are sittin’ at the moment – at NZRFU in the other shaky Town, Wellingtown, and NZRL in volcanic Dorkland. Men’s and women’s 15s World C Men’s and women’s 15s World Cups, guys and girls World Sevens, fellas and felletts League World Cups. The Poms must be cryin’ into their lagers and malts, for them, worse than drinkin’ bacon fat.

Richie’s back – yeah baby !! His tranquiliser wore off, and he’s raring to tear into the ‘Boks and Wannabies. The Argies are in there this time too in this expanded comp, with a pack full of ugly specimens. Their teeth are in different area codes, and their tight five as massive – no foreheads, just fiveheads.

This is classic – I was watchin’ the news the other night when they talked about the Sochi Winter Olympics coming up in Russia. I was thinking about the about the old Moscow Olympics and the American boycott. It was coz the Ruskies had invaded Afghanistan. Figure that out. Then USA took over Iraq and the price of gas went up, so who won the war anyway ?

I’ll keep it short, just like Gluteus Mac’s temper, otherwise he’ll go all tits up that I’m stealin’ his thunder. Sometimes he gets his valium and anti-inflammatories mixed up, but he’s a funny guy – so long as he’s takin’ his medicine. Cop-u-later.

- Back Row Bruiser